Happy Thanks Giving

The sun had started  peeking through the blinds early this morning, as Jesus was saying rise in the quite and spend time with me .... the fleshly part of me wanted to pull the covers back up and find a more comfortable spot on the chase and sleep a little longer, the spiritual girl in me said it's time to rise girlfriend. So I did just that sleeepy, sore, moving very slow. I pepped talked my way into the family room inside the big house and did just that....
      That's when it hit me Thanksgiving is just next week ! How could that be ? Another year has almost slipped by and gone and a new year with new possibilities are just around the corner ..... the sun was coming through the window warm as a spring day .... I took sometime to reflect at what this year has held... I knew I would have a little bit before I would have coffee restrictions means you need help and you don't push it lol....
    So as I waited I asked the Lord to help me see the things I didn't see... for one reason or another ...
   He spoke to this heart and said it's all been for a reason.... this has been a tough year for my family... however I have seen His hands and feet prints all over us.
     We have became closer family... we are not as rushed and take time for one another. We realize each day is a gift and that it can be taken as quickly as it is given.
  That the things we learned early in ministry has prepared us for such a time as this.... We are seeing His promises come to pass...
    I have learned I am beautiful no matter what the world thinks because I am made in the image of God.... The worlds views are not applicable. I am invited because God has invited me and He loves me dearly.
That my husband and my relationship is stronger than it has been in years ! He will provide for us in more than one way! He wants to bless us ... all He ask is for us to follow Him even when it can be really scary... if we just let him lead He will bring blessings you can't even imagine....
     I am beyond thankful for moments like this morning. Reflecting on all He has done for us. These are just a few things at best .... trust me there are many more...
    As you gather with family with the week to come be sure to look back on the year God has given you ... Thank Him for all those blessings we have to be thankful for...
Trust me there will be many who may be facing battles they never excepted .... However I know of a Mighty God who doesn't make mistakes .... that's why sometimes we have to praise Him in the hallway and on mountain... Hope all of you have a Happy Thanks Giving! Love and prayers thanks for stopping by.

You must crawl before you walk ....

There has been many moments and I have wondered why God choose me for this life ....I have truly endured quite a bit these 40 years I have been in this world.

However all that I have been through has not compared to what I have faced this year.

I know that sounds absolutely insane ... 

The Bible teaches me that the Lord will not put more on me than I can bare. However we often miss the part of the verse that says with out a way of escape. 

On March 1,2016 everything I knew as normal was changed.

I went in for a very simple knee surgery that turned into a medical nightmare.

I had a heart surgery on April17,2016 for a heart problem that stemmed from that surgery. Life from that moment was changed.

I seen my family and ministry in a way I hadn't in a long time .... I noticed how busy this world makes us! 

How we let petty things get in the way of spending time with our family. Most of all spending quality time with our Lord.

Making our spouse feel like they are our number and our kids have our attention. 

It made pay closer attention ! 

However I am human when weight gain became a huge issue and when I struggled keeping up with everyday life, I felt like less of a woman....

After all I am only human right ... it's okay to have as I like to say moment of weakness lol.

I was praying and asking God why His answer seemed to be no... if it was would He please help me to accept the answer He had chosen for me. I wanted to be all I could be for Him no matter what!

I started to add more daily things back into my life. I returned to children's ministry, cleaning the house, preparing most of the meals, going to town, I took a trip with just me and my youngest , I even  led a Homeshool co-op. I may have been tired all the time but I was trying to make the best of what God had given me for my right now.
Among the task of making my family number two because Jesus will always be my number 1!
It was the beginning to mid September I had an allergic reaction and missed our church ice cream social. My amazing husband and girls went on with out me. I am not sure I will ever forget the panic in my daughters voice on the phone when it woke me up. Her Dad was in tremendous pain and vomiting she was taking him to the nearest ER. I could hear the fear in her voice. I told her then o would find a way to the hospital to be with them. Turns out he had a rather large kidney stone. He had battled them one time before, ten years ago. This would be the begenimg of a new battle for our family. My sweet dear hubby who never complains was in tremendous pain. He would spend the night in the hospital and have his stone blasted. After he endured the stone for a week!
It was the morning of his procedure I knew something was very wrong. I was short of breathe more than usual and the pain in my chest was the worst it had ever been ....
On the following Monday I would have a echocardiogram and be transported to Presbyterian hospital in Charlotte by ambulance!
My heart had a moderate pericardial effusion and the bottom left lobe of my lung had collapsed due to fluid on the outside of my lung !
 The roller coaster of a ride was just beginning... I was put to sleep back to back to endure very painful test... that would lead to the decision that I would need a very major heart and lung surgery.I needed a thoracotomy . This way my new medical team could access both my heart and lungs at the same time. I would come out of surgery with a eleven inch incision underneath my left shoulder blade, reaching under my arm and a chest tube.
The first few days are a blur honestly the whole hospital stay and the first few weeks were... I remember bits and pieces but not much.... I turned fourty three days after surgery and I vaguely remember it. The things I do remember are the things nightmares are made of.
However what I have learned through all of this has been life changing. God wasn't saying no ....Just hold on ...He wasn't finished yet! He had a plan I just needed to wait for Him to finish it! I feel the best I have felt since March. Except for recovery of surgery which has not been a walk in the park lol.
He showed me my husband loves me beyond words ! He has cared for me around the clock. Never leaving my side until two weeks ago when he returned to work or to preach.
He has told me countless time how beautiful I was to him even when I felt like a blimp. I gained 15-20lbs of fluid . Which I have now lost! God showed me that my family and their well being had to come first after Him! That same scared look I seen in March and April was now and is back in their eyes ....  As a wife and mom thTs hard to see and reassure them each cough you have and each grunt from pain is just part of healing that we are getting there .
He showed me the scale is just a scale that beauty starts within that I would only feel as beautiful as I let myself feel... The number on the scale does not defy me no more than my past gets too! Now don't take me wrong I have tried to eat healthier and I have to drink a very precise amount of fluids and surprisingly. But you won't here me complain.
I have learned to hand things off to people delegating is very important.
It's okay to take care of me and let someone else handle things.
Don't sweat the little things if it don't get done today there is always tomorrow and it will be okay!
I truly feel like the things we go through are ment to grow us....Just like a baby normally will crawl before it walks.... I have learned slow down and enjoy this gift called life He has given to me ! It may not be perfect but it's mine !
Since I have been home I have spent all of October at besides Dr appointments. Until this week, I have finally healed enough to wear a special bra my sweet hubby found me. I am still very slow and sore ... Yet very blessed!
This week I will attend my first church service since mid September! I am super excited !
My family does not celebrate halloween, it has been a 21 year tradition to put our Christmas tree on that day. We celebrate light over darkness..... so one of the first things My hubby said I asked him after surgery is that he would promise my tree would go up!  Guess what with the help from my girls and my hubby my home is decked out in Christmas !!!! He even put two trees up for me ! One in the main house and one in the apartment where I am having to spend most of my time!
I am a very blessed lady, even though we are still awaiting an up coming echo on my heart to make sure the effusion has stayed gone ! I know in my heart I have been healed ! I also have learned to take everyday as it comes....  He is in control and no matter what I am blessed to have a heavenly Dad who loves me so very much! So if you think of me please continue to pray! I have very strict restrictions that last through November! I have upcoming appointments and test. I will try to update here as often as I can.... thank you for stopping by and know I am sending love and prayers your way!
I would like to close with a few pictures ! I hope you enjoy them!

 Here is our skating rink it's a family

Milestones...

I'm so sorry I been gone for so long again ! That was not what I have intended to do at all ! Life has been busy and different ... Trying to find my groove again and realizing that this may be my new normal, well it's tiring ... So I hope you will bear with me. There has not been any real change or answers .... We have decide that whatever God decides we will call it a blessing and be happy no matter what! 

    The only changes we have heard from the doctors as of right now is there has been a huge effect on my liver due to some of the meds... It's now importance to loose weight and I will have to return my clean eating diet... However that's not a bad thing ... I am blessed to have another day! I want to be here to see all the amazing things God has for this life He's given me and the milestones of my family ! So as hard as it was I was able to walk a mile today.... That's extremely hard for someone who's heart rate is all over the place and oxygen levels are to low at times .... However God gave me strength ! He promises that We can do all things through Christ who gives us strength !( Phillipians 4:13) 

 So this journey is a day by day journey... We will see where God leads .... My beautiful family is gonna rally with me on this ! Of course if we want to have a treat we can .... After all we only live this life once...

      We actually just returned from a much needed week of vacation at the beach! This has been one of my favorite vacations we have ever taken ! We didn't really do a whole lot , except spend time together as a family! We played cards at night...Jody and the girls went to the pool or beach some during the day ... I would go as I felt like it ! On Friday we rented a resort umbrella and stayed on the beach all day that day for the most part... We went shopping one day! I was able to walk the Tanger outlets with the assistance of my oxygen ! However by the time we made it to Broadway at the beach I was too tired and my hubby rented me a scooter so the girls could enjoy their shopping in the 104 degree weather lol! We went for ice cream and really just enjoyed each other ! I never once felt overwhelmed or frustrated with my limitations .... I felt blessed with the opportunity to make new memories and have the modern convinces I have today! To make it a lil easier .... 

  God is an amazing God ! I just want Him to know I thank Him for all blessings big and small ! 

I am gonna have to take my own advice ... Remind myself the size of my jeans does not make me pretty or what others think either ! It's the  unique creation  God made when He made me that makes me beautiful ! So with that being said I hope you enjoy some of the pictures from our vacation ...

Please continue to pray for me on this journey... I can't help but quote my favorite verses each day as when I need a boast of encouragement ....

But those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not faint!

 He is enough each and everyday !!!!

Hope you enjoy the pictures below! More than anything thanks for stopping by and your prayers ! 

   

                                             The view from our balcony

                                  

                                        Our first full morning at the beach

                                My girls favorite breakfast of all time !!!

                          

I felt like Mav from Hotel Transylvania 2 hehehe here ! It was like I was sacred of the sun light !

                              

                                                On our way to Tanger

                                         

                       No beach trip would be complete if Christian didn't get a heana tattoo

                                                     Beach reading material

                                   

                                         Under the umbrella still wearing my hat lol

                                    

                                                     I could stay here for forever 

        

                                                                 My beautiful girls 

                                     

   

                                             I'm so blessed God choose them to be mine 

                                       

                                                      Love this man beyond words ....

                                        

            Never be ashamed of your battle ...  You never know who your inspiring .......

Let her play .....

                      

     

    I miss the soft pitter patter of feet on the floor in the morning, the countless hours of playing barbies and babies, sewing for hours for A life of Faith , setting up Barbie and doll houses ... Playing for hours and most of all planning and having tea!

        My girls are teens now and for the most part these days have ended ....'now don't take me wrong we have plenty of fun now, in just a different way !

    Being a Mom is the third best gift God could have ever given to me ... My #1 gift is salvation and my #2 is my sweet hubby! Being a Mom has brought so much joy to my life! I actually can not wait till the time  to be lil granny in real life you know 50yrs down the road! Hehe.....

      For want ever reason I woke up this morning and this thought was so strongly on my heart ..... It was Imporant you taught them to Play and even more Imporant to teach the Boundries .... 

    That very moment I felt like God said you weren't a bad Mom when everyone else was putting there dolls away and trading them in at 10 for make-up and cell phones .... Instead I insisted cell phones waited till 14-15 and make- up no earlier than 13...

       I monitored t.v time, what books they read, who their friends were, what they looked at on the Internet..... I wanted to keep them safe and teach them the importance of acting their age and enjoying the easy years.... Adulting is hard ..... I don't always want to be one lol... Five sounds like a perfect age ... Naps playing all day... You know the easy stuff lol.... However I am thankful that God allowed me to be a Mom....

    Now that they are older I find myself protecting them from even more than ever in a more serious manner.... I want them to,save themselves for marriage, choose wise friends, Pray God would lead them to The One He created just for her !!!! I want them to have a strong relationship with God , to know what He says is right and wrong! Trust me this world is not where I want them getting that info from... I want them to pray about what God has called them to do..... The list goes on for days I promise .... Are they perfect nope ... Are they going to make mistakes...YES ! Even though neither of them have ever done anything to horribly bad .... I realize this world has a lot more pressures for them as teens and young adults than there ever was when I was a kid ! I want them to know they can ask me anything! Tell me anything! Am I always gonna like it .... Ummm.... Nope, however I am sure Gods not always to happy with me either .... He never turns me away.... I recently heard a story of how when a young man was young he messed up,and the church and his family turned their backs on them... Now let me make this clear ! My kids have not done anything to prompt this blog post ! It's just what God laid on my heart ...

     I am a Pastors wife .... I honestly could never turn my back on some one because they sinned! Not now anyways .... I can remember being apart of a movement years ago you must look  and act a certain way or God wouldn't love you .... I am so glad God removed those blinders from my eyes ! He saved me washed dirty ole me up and loves me !!!! If He can do that for me ! He can and will for anyone who ask ! The problem is we have lost a whole generation because, we set our standard so high even for our children we have bacame unapproachable ..... Ohh my..... What if God was that way? 

    I'm so glad He isn't .... So as I prayed this morning .... In my heart I felt Him reminding me ....my our doing good at this Mom thing ! Your not perfect.... 

I thought for a moment and asked myself do my kids know they can tell me anything and know that they are always loved , always have a home, and always forgiven ..... Dad reminded me yes .... They do because right after heart surgery Jody and yourself set down and told them that.... 

       My oldest is 20 and my youngest now 16.... Some advice from a seasoned Mom.... It's Imporant she play's and is taught to be a kid and it's just as Imporant to teach them to be healthy teens, in their hearts minds and relationships .... Practice talking about the hard stuff... You want those talks to come from you not the world... You know the one I am thinking about .... Why it's important to save yourself for marriage .... Have an open rule you can go through their phone and computer .... Be sure to actually do it.... They may not tell you this right now! But they will love you for it in the end I promise ! Just remember this the Bible says this ....

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from it!

Moms you do the training don't let the world be their influence ....

 Praying for all of you ! Hope you have an amazing weekend ! 💜Shellie

Sweet Surprises.....

   

                     

I am a tru believer that God sends certain people to be in your life for a season and other for a lifetime! I am truly blessed for many that He has sent to be here for the long haul....

    

  As most of you know I have battled some serious health problems the past few months.... Sometimes a doctor is not what is needed .... It's medicine for the soul.... I truly believed I received some of that today .... One of my very best friends was able to come for a visit with her sweet kiddos today! I haven't seen them in almost 2 years .... My how time flies.....

 

   I hadn't realized just how much I missed talking over coffee and catching up.... Sharing stories of encouragement with one another .... Till you have that opportunity ....

While I was bed bound I realized each day is a gift and so are the people who come along beside us and lift us up along the way ..... I was reminded that even Jesus had his close knit set of friends ...His go to guys .... You know the ones who always had His back.... I have made some of those relationships since we moved back to our home town .... However they can never replace the ones you leave behind ... 

    I have decided that I need to make it priority to nurture these relationships and go see them... I miss them and need them in my life I can't imagine life with out them.... If Jesus needed His twelve then I must need my own as well... 

  When is the last time you reconnected with some one you once were super close to and have lost that intamcy in your friendship? Whether it is due to miles or just a busy life .... Consider taking time out and making a point to remind that person you miss them and you need them in your life ... 

    I will leave you with this thought from the Bible :

12 "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 

13Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 

14 You are my friends if you do what I command you. John 15:12-14

      How can we deny Gods Word He requires us to love on another .... When is the last time you reminded that special friend you love them and your praying for them..... 

 Thank you for stopping by... Until next time I will continue to pray for you guys ... Hope you will do the same for me .... -💜Shellie

Morning thoughts .....

     

                                     

  One of my favorite things in the world to hear is the early morning chirping of birds....

It's as if they wake up and instantly start singing praises to Jesus.... 

   This is what woke me this morning.... Was the sound of a beautiful chirping outside my bedroom window.... I just laid there and listened to the beautiful song it sang for a little while.... Till the buzzing on the highway right out side busted through with the sounds of traffics ....

       A thought came to my mind how busy our lives have became .... We are constantly on the go ....

 We miss so much of the beauty and wonder this beautiful world has to offer us ....

      That beauty is something money can never buy .... We must just slow down and enjoy the creation set out before us!

 God is so very creative He paints the sky for us each and everyday .... He sets our own lives in Motion with so much beauty to behold .... But when was the last time we slowed down to actually enjoy it?

     Over the past few months I have Been slowed way down from my fast paced life.... It wasn't by choice, but sickness has a way of making sure you slow yourself .... Ohh how it has slowed me ....

    Each day I reclaim a little more of what I lost ... Thank you Jesus for answered prayers! 

  However as I was laying there this morning I realized even more I want to be intentional in how I live my life! I want to enjoy the things around me not buzz through life watching it blurr by us....'I want to watch the butterflies outside my window, listen to the birds sing, look at the beautiful wonders all around me ! 

    I recently decided I needed a schedule to follow.... It will help me be intentional with what I do for my family and ministry, it will also make me spend some time writing .....

      But when I start this schedule I want to make sure there is time to enjoy the simplicity of life! 

To enjoy one another and not caught up in social media .... I may even start putting my phone away a certain time each evening so I am only focused on my family .... Being intentional with my time with them making memories .... Now my girls are older 20 &16.... So our hours of playing dolls are over for the most part.... 

     However there is still a lifetime of memories to make .... Make them count ..... Enjoy the sound of their laughter .... I promise you won't regret it.... Listen to the birds sing.....

  Thanks for stopping by .... Praying you all have a wonderful weekend ..... ❤️Shellie

Sorry it's been so long....

    

                     

Wow it's been a wild few weeks ....'I'm so sorry I haven't blogged much! I promise to try to do better! I have had a lot on my plate .... 

My favorite verse stands so true ! But those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

      I have regained all strength in my legs and I am able to walk! God sure is good ! Learning to be patient is extremely hard for me ! I so want to be able to do everything I am used to doing with out any draw backs .... However that's not been the case .... I still have a pocket of fluid surrounding the whole heart however it is decreasing! I still struggle with pericarditis symptoms. Pain, shortness of breathe, and swelling. I struggle my hardest with fatigue.... Up and down O2 stats make out door activities really hard when it's hot !

 Through everything that is all said and done I am still one blessed girl. I have learned so very much from all of this.... I have learned to let people help, the house does not have to emasculate to be considered clean, I must listen to my body it's really Imporant to take care of myself,

That material things can be replaced, and weight is just a number on the scale its doesn't define wether or not I am pretty..... 

  Many mile stones have passed , I graduated off my oxygen till 3 nights ago .... Jody cleaned the bathroom with Lysol and the chemical smell really affected my lungs ... So we are learning more everyday that somethings may never be the same again.... 

     We celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary !!!! We went to a wonderful little restraunt in a near by town and had a wonderful dinner and instead of going out of town we decided to get a gazebo for our back patio ... Given the fact my stamina is that of a turtle .... We decide to put off going away for a few months when my strength is better.... We ended our evening with having my wedding rings cut off my fingers at the local fire department .... My hands had swollen over the rings cutting off circulation... Causing quite a bit of pain and a whole lot of tears...

    I was reminded that night it was a material object it didn't replace our love for one another ..... In a few months when I stop swelling I will have them fixed .... Until then well..... I will be ringless lol!

    My first Sunday in children's ministry will be this coming Sunday ! I am excited and nervous at the same time! I won't be full time for a few more months .... However just to be there makes my heart so happy ! 

      I have been able to do some sewing ! I sewed some of my favorite things doll clothes ! Just because it's my favorite to create ....

           We have planned a family vacation for July ! I am so excited to just get away .... Although I can get around I don't go out much because it takes so much  out of me ! I can't wait to spend a week looking at the ocean .... We plan to have a laid back vacation and not rush the whole time ! That excites me ! Because I know my sweet hubby and kids need it as much I do !!!

       So bear with me when I am here and gone again each day brings new challenges...

Each day I try to regain a responsibility that was once mine .... Some days it works out great other days not so much .... So until we see where all of this has left me I will continue to be patient ! I know I have been healed by the Word of God! He's got this !!!! Thanks for stopping by ! Below are some pictures of some of my work and favorite things ! Praying for you guys ! 

                           

              

                             

                       

                                                 

                                

                            

                          

                           

                            

                            

                              

             

                                 I made a strawberry and cream cake from  scratch !

                               

              

                     My new favorite place in late evenings and early mornings !!! 

 

        

           

         

          

How to Mend What's Not Really Broken.....

 

                                    

    As the First Lady of our Church, a Mom, and Friend. I have many moments of counseling and ministering over the past sixteen years.... 

     I must say the ones that break my heart into shattered pieces are the ones who don't see the beauty that God created and they have either lost or never given the chance to see their self worth. 

        As of lately I have had these conversations with young girls 13 and under as young as 7! Yes you read right 7! It has made me question what are we teaching our children in our homes and society? I have spent some time in prayer over this issue a lot over the past few years ! 

     This past weekend reminded me why we are going to have to step up as moms , leaders of our church's ,and society! Help our little girls, teens, women of all ages see that know that they are beautiful ! That means no matter their size, hair, color of their skin, or where they come from.

       I recently had a lil girl set beside me on my couch and ball and tell me she is fat and ugly! She is eleven. Now what she thinks she sees and what I see are totally different ! I see a beautiful blossoming young lady with long beautiful curly hair, blue eyes , a smile that lights up a room, petite in height not heavy at all . She is a perfect image of what an eleven year old child should look like.

          When she told me all she seen was ugly and fat my heart broke! When I asked some questions why she felt that way I soon learned my hearts suspicions were correct.... She had been repeatedly told that she is fat and ugly at school! Unfortantly she has took those labels on and owned them as hers! We live in a society that defines our beauty by our size .... If our hair looks like such and such on tv, and good heavens forbid we have a flaw because after all Disney stars don't ! 

         Some how we must reverse this vicious cycle ! As a teen I battled a eating disorder and a lot of image issues with myself ! I never felt pretty or good enough even when I only weighed 105 lbs ! I still thought I needed to be smaller.... Or I needed be more like so and so. Other wise I would never be pretty or good enough! The generation before mine did have the mentality that how we were to look our best no matter what was going on because good appearances made everyone believe as long as the outside looked good they would never know how jacked up the inside really was ! Wether it was their homes or them we are talking about !!! No one was ever to know if something wasn't perfect !

So it wasn't uncommon to be told to suck your stomach in no man wanted a fat girl , or the house had to be perfect inside and out because really behind closed doors it was falling apart , or to be compared and asked why your not more like some one else !

      All of that brings me to this ! We all ready know how these things affected us as children. Let's be honest I lost so much weight before my wedding that I could have walked out of my wedding gown !!! I still thought I was ugly and fat on our honeymoon !!!! It took many years to realize my jean size does not define who I am, my worth , or my beauty !!!!! But how many times do our daughters hear us say I am fat , I'm ugly , or I need to drop a few sizes or Daddy isn't going to think I'm attractive anymore !!! Shame on us ladies !!!!! We just taught our child the only type of people who are beautiful are skinny people ! How many times have they heard us compare ourselves to some one else and say if on,you could look like that !!!! We just taught her what God created was not good enough for us, we want a do over ! During the conversation with this beautiful eleven year old girl, tv stars were mentioned! I knew who she was comparing herself to for sure now ! Disneys stars ! Yep I said that out loud ! I love Disney cartoons .... But the tv shows give girls an unrealistic idea of life ! I never remember going to school dressed to the nines , hair and make-up perfect and my figure perfect! Ya know the thigh gap, flat tummy, all the curves in all the right places !!!! Hmmmm no one ever mentions to these girls that they are photo shopped .... They have some one to dress them, do their make-up, and their hair. That on their normal everyday life doesn't look like this ! But let's be honest how many of our moms are comparing ourselves to others as well ! Well if I could just look like .... I'm trying this diet.... Or maybe if I wear my hair like this ...l will be beautiful and accepted more !

We are suppose to set the example in our homes ! Now don't take me wrong there is nothing wrong with being healthy ! We all need excersize if our body's will allow it and healthy foods to keep the inside running well ! We have a problem when we tell lil Suzie you can't eat a ice cream with her on a hot afternoon because your on a diet ! Our daughters learn from us from the time they are brought in this world ! If they constantly hear you put down your body and say your fat and ugly I can promise you she will too !!! Ohh how I wish someone would have told me that before I had kids ! I didn't really realize this till I became pregnant with my second child !  A high risk pregnancy , a death , complications after delivery was a cocktail like no other ... I never really lost all the weight ! It took me some time but I finally gained my confidence back and realized that I was beautiful no matter what size! There has been a few times I have to remind myself that ! Even now ! I gained 20 lbs mostly fluid during my health crisis ! I even had to go out and buy new shirts ! However I have remained positive through all of this ! It's just a number ! It's doesn't tell me who I am ! God does !!! He thinks I am beautiful ! He wants me to think I'm beautiful because He created me !!!! He wants me to know my worth is a price above rubies (Proverbs 31:10) because my worth is found in Jesus !!! Not my size ! He thinks I'm perfect the way I am !!!  Because I'm made in His image !!!! (Psalm 139:4)

      We recently had a guest speaker at our Church who was born with out arms ! If she can tell me she walks by the mirror and says aww girl you look beautiful today !!!! You are fine ! I love you !!! Mauw girl you are hot !!! Why can't we ? It's time we change how we see ourselves ! Instead of telling yourself your ugly, tell yourself your beautiful and you love yourself for who you are !!! Not what you want be !!! Let your daughter hear you tell yourself you look pretty today !!!! Tell her she's beautiful ! Remind her she is fearfully and wonderfully made !!!  We need to step and lDies and take our girls back !!!! Satan has had them to long telling them they aren't worth nothing ! Because Jesus thought we worth dieing for! Don't let Satan steal your joy another day wrapped up in what we have told ourselves or others may have said .... Let God restore you and your daughters today ! Remind them words don't define what God Made !!! He thinks your beautiful and so do I!

    The King is enthralled by your beauty. Psalm 45:11

                 You have been noticed,

                            He thinks your beautiful ,

                                         The glass slipper fits,

                                                          The music is playing,

                                                                     And He's asking you to dance! 

Princess will you give all over to God, take His hand let Him show you how beautiful you are !

When all is quite .....

                        

 

    My illness has been a journey .... I have learned so much from! I know that sounds crazy, but it is so true as well.... I have fallen in love with the quietness of the morning ! When no one is stirring in our home! 

    The soft hum of the morning traffics, the birds chirping outside my morning, and the simple hush of no one but me and Dad (Jesus) up and having sometime together.

      I have never been a real early riser until all this has taken place in my life recently! I would dread my Sunday morning alarm, now I am awake before it ever goes off! 

      I have truly found my quite time is the very best way to start my day ! It is well worth the effort to get up and tip toe into the living room and have a chat with Dad!

           I am almost giddy by the time I pick up my devotional, Bible, prayer journal and what ever book Dad has led me to read! I can't wait for Him to share with the truth He has for me today! 

     I am in the midst of writing a book and actually haven't written at all in it since my heart surgery ... He reminded me this morning I need to begin writing again ...  He did it so gently .... A thought came to mind , what if I used Dads approach when I need to remind my family of something.... I must say being sick has changed me a lot. How I do things has really changed ! Dad showed me a lot on that chase in our apartment! However He was never gruff with me ... He always did things in love .... So should we... No matter how crazy someone is driving us lol, we still should reply with love.... 

     I learned a long time ago you never question Gods plan for your life .... He will make it all work out for His glory! I know He has for me! I am so very blessed! Maybe your struggling with trying to find that time with Him ..... Try different times of your day till you find what time is right for you !!!! Then schedule that time for you Dad (Jesus) and me time ! I promise the effort will be well worth it. You will find yourself stronger for it! I can also promise you will find yourself changed as well !!!

     Thanks for stopping by! Praying you have a blessed day! ❤️Shellie

Happy Mothers Day

 

                              

 

I have spent a lot of time thinking today about how very blessed I am to be called Mom!!! It's is one of my greatest achievements.... I feel so honored that God would find me worthy enough to be the Mom of two beautiful young women! It's never been something I have taken for granted ! Now please know that doesn't mean I have been a perfect Mom ! Trust me I have messed up more than once along the way! 

     I never will regret one moment I have spent at home with them.... Any sleepless night .... Hours of school... Playing all day while other things needed my attention.... The dirty clothes and house... The nights I have paced the floor and prayed for them! That list can go on ! 

   I was thinking g this morning and I asked myself what I hope impacted them the most as they were growing up.... This is the two things that came to my mind instantly ! I want them to know I love them unconditionally and that I always led them in the ways of Jesus!

      I have taught them many things over the years and I hope those things follow them as well with all the memories we have made ! Creating moments that last a lifetime! I hope those two things at do out the loudest! 

     Because if they do I have done my job as Mom well! After so much sickness over the past 2 months I have had a lot to think about ... My relationship with my girls is one of those things! I just want to know I have been the best Mom I can possibly be to them !!! 

     I am excited to know as they take me to dinner to celebrate me being their Mom!  God has restored their Mom in many ways in one this week ! He has healed my lungs all Exocet mild scarring! No more oxygen, I will walk into the restraunt, not ride in a wheel chair!!! My God has been so very good ! Their lil granny as they like to call me may be slow and sore but she is being healed more and more each and everyday !!!! I am blessed to spend another Mothers Day being their Mom !!! I am praising Him for the many more to come! I hope you all have a very Happy Mothers Day !!! Filled with blessings, love and joy! Thanks for stopping by ❤️Shellie

       

                     The very reason I have the privilege to be called Mom!!! My 2 Princesses! ❤️

  

Women of Joy and a Health Update

 I am so sorry it's been awhile since I updated ! I have had a lot going on! I came home from Women of Joy spiritually restored ! I now know why God said I couldn't miss it! I now have a glimpse of the things He has for me to do! I am super excited ! I know that it will require me allowing Him to do what He has plans to do! The worship and the speakers were absolutely amazing !!!! There wasn't a time during this Confrence God wasn't speaking right to my heart! I left so spiritually awakened !!!! Physically exhausted lol .... I wouldn't change it though! I know I needed to be there so it was worth every effort! So those of you who prayed so I could go thank you ! The ladies of our church were amazing ! They went in together and bought a newer used lighter wheel chair for me! It was much easier on them and me! They were all willing to help me with my bags and oxygen. It was a pleasure to amongst beautiful ladies who love the Lord and each other so much ! They are not just my friends but my family as well!

      I am on the mend slowly.... I am very tired and sore ..... Still swollen all over .... According to the doctor on Monday all of this is normal at this point. He cut my oxegyn down from 2 liters to one !!! He hopes to have me off of it in the next 2 weeks !!! I am very excited about that. After talking to my sweet hubby I won't return to children's ministry until later in May.... The chest tube left open wound that is still draining .... He just feels I should heal up a lil more and I'm okay with that ! That away when I return stitches are out and the hole completely closed and hopefully have all my energy back !!!! I have moved back into the big house !!! After the surgery I have been able to walk !!! It's been so amazing to come back into the home I had created for our family !!! I even slept with my sweet hubby for the first time in over two months last night !!!! My God is so good !!!! 

   It has been a very trying few months .... But I can honestly say when I look back I have seen my Jesus all over this ! I know this sounds crazy, but I am thankful that even though it's been hard I have lived it and experienced His loving grace ....

 So let me end with this ! If your in a storm hold on He has you, even in the darkest part of it He has you !!! Don't let the tossing and turning turn you from Him ! Instead let it draw you closer to Him ! Praise Him even when it's hard !!!! Because I can promise you it will be worth it!!! He will give you beauty for your ashes !!!! I know He has me!!! I praise Him for  He is good !!!! 

I want to leave you with my favorite scripture ! If you remember a few blogs back I shared with you how my sweet hubby came in and told me the Lord wanted Him to remind me of my favorite verse !!! It has brought much comfort and encouragement ! Just know no matter what your going through Wait On Him! He will see you through ! 

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31King James Version (KJV)

      

                            

          

   

Here we go again .... Hospital ....and surgery ... Oh my....

Just wanted to give you a update on what's been going on ! On Thursday I was addmitted back in to the hospital.... After a series of test it was determined that the fluid on my heart had gotten worse ! On Friday I was transported by ambulance to a hospital that specializes in heart conditions. On Saturday morning I had a heart surgery called a pericardial window .... It's a rare surgery considering how rare pericarditis is .... I have been in quite a bit of pain .... The outlook for my release is on Tuesday ! Please keep me in your prayers !!! I'll try to update you guys again soon !

Test and progress ....

  

                                  

The quote of above is so very true .... This new adventure my Jesus has taken me on, at times has been very painful! I have felt as if I were close to death, I have felt deep pain physically and emotionally! I have felt as if I were falling apart at the seems, even lost and confused as to what was my Dad (God) thinking ! 

    Only to feel the loving hands of my creator wrap His arms around me and speak peace .... To remind me He had this ! It's anew adventure and He is creating someone stronger and more beautiful in the sight of my creator ! For I am fearfully and wonderfully made in His image ! I could never be anything less than amazing to him ! I have felt His promises ring through my heart, reminding me that all things work for His Glory !!! To stand firm on His promises for the healing would come !!! I know it will He promises it will! My God can not lie ! 

      We have made some small progress and I love to share what my God does! For He is always worthy of praise for all things !

     I have been able to walk Crome my chase all the way to the kitchen stove in my apartment !!! That is a total of 22 steps !!! After arriving I have been able to stand to prepare small meals !!! I have even been able to walk back after that twice !!! That may not sound like much for some but for my jello legs it's a huge improvement ! I do require a walker .... I am to unstable to walk long distance with out it ! That's okay, I'm thankful for my walker.... There were times in history no such things were available ! I am thankful I live in a time those things are there to help me out ! 

    I am still having to use higher doses of pain meds at night to sleep due to the chest pain... That and the hard time walking has alarmed my doctor, so I will see a cardiologist on May 13. To see where we stand with the pericarditis. 

    I had a breathing function test done today ... It was very helpful to help us understand what going on with my lungs. They look for 3 things ! First thing they check for are obstructions like Astmah , COPD, and emphysema. I do not have any obstructions !!! Thank you Jesus for answers prayers!!!  The second part of the test is to see how well my lungs inflate, I have moderate restriction ! Which means my lungs can not take in adequate air. This could be caused from the chemical burn in the lung or the pericarditis . We will be waiting to hear more about that ! The third thing they check for is to see how well the lungs are getting gasses and oxegyn to the blood stream. I have a mild compromise there... We are not clear what the next step will be .... We were told today that only time would tell if the body corrects all of this .... So we are kinda back at the lets hurry up and wait some more place again.... However over all these are answers and they aren't terrible ! It could have shown much worse things !!! My God is good !!! I am thankful for all He does ! I have been sharing in my last blog I would be attending the Women of Joy Confrence ! I am becoming super excited about this Confrence ! It is coming so quickly now ! I am also super excited about who I will be sharing this journey with! My youngest daughter will joining us also one of her close teenage friends and 9 ladies of our church !!! I know I am ment to be there !!! I simply can not wait to see what all God has in store for us !!!

I also finished the book A Women After Gods Own Heart by Elizabeth Goerge, my oh my how you should read if you haven't ! It is a life changer ! I am almost done with the Beth Moore book as well ! I have learned so much about David I hate for this book to end !!! I'll be sure to let you know it after I finish it as well ! I have so loved my quite time with the Lord lately ... I have grown so much ! Finding joy everyday even when it's hard has changed my life .... Trust me it's all how we look at things ! It's not always easy to find joy .... I promise if you look hard enough you will find it ! I have found joy also leads up to hope! The word hope in the Greek translation is elpis. Meaning "confident expectation in the unseen future" or "happy expectation of good. Hope brings forth positivity !!! Without hope we remain broken, we can't see the reason to keep fighting, we let negativity rule our lives !

Hope helps us to hold on because faith is reminding us something good is about to happen !

The Bible says it best in Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope

Thanks for stopping by ! I hope that my journey has inspired you to draw closer to Jesus.... He did not promise me life would be a tea party but a grand adventure ! I'm glad He's leading the way !

                

    

Time for War

                      

Let's go to battle ! I had the honor and privilege to attend church this today !!!! I haven't yet returned to children's ministry, so I had the honor of attending worship up stairs !!! Ohh my and was it worth every ounce of energy and pushing myself to get there! The Pastor spoke today on the subject it's time for war! Ohh my was it amazing , but I must say it was for me !!! I have came to realize just a few days ago I am in a spiritual battle ! That is affecting my physical body! Devil would love for me to give up and quit fighting and proclaiming Gods promises .... Hate to tell him ... Not today or any day for that matter !!!! I have the letters from the King that proclaim my healing !!!! The Bible ! And guess what it can't lie .... 

   I don't know when that complete healing is coming ..... I just know it is and I will not stop proclaiming it and praising My Dad God for it !!! Not now not ever ! 

    I may have to be rolled in a wheel chair for now, but I will walk long distances again! My lungs will function properly again ! My heart will function properly again ! I know because My Dad (Jesus) has already revealed it in my spirit .... I love how He does stuff like that ! I have already given my shout of victory !!!! So what are you facing? Are you in a battle ? Please know God love you and He's got your victory He just wants you to stand until He gives the word !!!! Stand still and wait on Him ! It will be worth it !lean on the Lord when it's hard to stand He will give you strength to stand I promise !!! I'm praying for you this week coming ! I don't have to know your name cause God already does ! Praying your blessed this week !!!!! Thanks for stopping by !

22 steps !!!!

   

                        

Wow it's been a busy day today ! I have had quite a bit of company ! Needles to say I am one tired girl this evening ! However today has been more than about company .... Some amazing things happened today ! My sweet hubby came home for lunch today ... He bent down and whispered in my ear and told me God  wanted me to him remind  me of my favorite verse ! Which is Isaiah 40:31 ! It has been my favorite verse since the day I got saved !!! 

       I had just told my sweet hubby the day before , I really wanted to walk ! I had walked to the edge edge of the carpet to realize it was no further than going to the bathroom I was so upset.... 

  When my sweet hubby told me that I had a renewed hope !!!! I love when God does that !

       So this afternoon I had already made my mind up I was going to try again today even if it was just 3 steps more ! So it was time to start dinner , I have been preparing meals even when if I had to sit in the wheel chair ! However today I wa determined to walk to that kitchen if it killed me lol!!! I am so happy to announce I walked 22 steps and stood and prepared supper all but about 5 minutes of it !!!! I was so excited !!! I was not able to walk back from the kitchen to the chase ... But I made it !!!! My God is good ! Now I must say as well I walked with the assistance of a walker ! I don't care how I got there, I know God helped me get there !!!!  I just had to brag about how good He is !!! I am blessed beyond belief! That's a huge progress after 39 days ! It's exactly 10 steps more than I have been able to take ! I still have a ways to go, I still have struggles with my heart and often get short of breathe .... No matter what though !!! I know God has my my healing !!! I praise Him for each and every improvement !!! Because it has only came because of Him !!!! Thanks for your prayers and stopping by !!! I can't wait to share the next improvement with you !!! I'm super excited about tomorrow at the same time it's bitter sweet .... One of my dearest and best friends is coming to visit ... Yet it also means my daughter from another Mom will be going home .... We have loved having her ! I look forward to her coming again soon! Thanks for stopping by Hope you guys have an amazing weekend ... Remember each and everyday is a gift, be sure to find the joy in each day !!!! 

I wanna always call out to my Jesus !

I have been reading the most amazing book by Beth Moore ! It's about David and the anointing God had placed on his life ... I ah e came to learn that the more God used David the more David faced! He was hunted down by a crazy man, hid away in a cave , all along he was separated from the womN he loves and his family .... Yet David never lost his focus on God ! 

             I want to be just like that .... No matter the adversary I may face I still want to shout out to Jesus and know He is there and He loves me ... I want to call out to Him even when I don't feel strong enough ! I have found over the past few weeks my favorite time to read my Bible and pray is when I wake up in the middle of the night in pain.... Jesus calms my body much faster than another round of pain medicine.... 

        I know in my heart not being able to walk very far is temporary ... I know I have been healed by the Word of God, I'm just waiting for my change!!! Yet this time last year if someone would have told me I would be planning to attend a  Women of Joy Confrence in Pigioen Forge Tn. In a wheelchair I would have told them they were crazy. Yet my God knew, I heard an amazing speaker Kathrine Wolfe tell her story last year on stage in a wheel chair ! Her story inspired me beyond words, now more than ever.... That no matter what God wants to use you ! He wants you to work for Him !!! 

    I have said from the time I woke up I wasn't missing this trip! I know it's ment for me in more than one way ! I know my new me for now has to strike fear to the ones I will be with.... I don't want to be a burden at the same time I don't want to miss my blessing ! I know God has great and mighty plans for me !!! 

    So instead of concentrating on the negatives, I am finding the positives .... Lifting any concern I have in prayers to the Lord .... I know He I has already gone before me and he's got this !!! I'm don't really know for sure who all reads my blogs.... I kinda like it that way lol.... But I would like to encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and reach out to someone who is different than you .... Remind them that just because they are different that You love them for who God has created them to be know matter what makes them different ... I have always taught my children to love everyone no matter who they were and to show kindness... Go out of your way to show them that despite of what they are facing they are still very much apart of the world they live in ... They just get to experience it in a different way than you ! I love my Jesus and I am thankful for every trial I have faced for its made who I am.... I want to be like David constantly calling on my Dad know matter what's going on in my life !!! I know He's just waiting for me to call out so He can remind me He's got it ....

Because God is not the Author of destruction ..., so He's not trying to destroy me!

God will repay evil done to me !

My hope must be in God !

No matter how bad things look, God is good !!!!!